{News}

2 Months Ago..I received confirmation...a long awaited diagnosis..a reason to explain my illnesses in the last year and a half..



Systemic Lupus



I heard it, I see the diagnosis on paper, I feel it, but I don't want to believe it.



My thoughts go all over..is it deadly? is it forever? what do I do to treat it? will it effect my kids? how will I cope without my family and friends near?can we have more children? is this real? I feel like an awful person for doing this to my family...

I have read numerous articles, had a sleepless nights trying to research and educate myself. I learned why it took so long to finally make a diagnosis and also I learned I had so many of the "signs" so why was this the last option in testing?

There has been some rough days, but I also some(amazing) great days.
At the same time I feel a sense of peace the last year and a half has been awful. From meningitis to high blood pressure to tumors in several parts of my body and even surgery. Sometimes I thought maybe it was all in my head? that I was being a lazy mother and wife and things were just made up..this many things could not happen to one person in one year right? I must be a hypochondriac..But every time I felt ill they always found something "huge" I now know it was not in my head, and it was not made up, it's all been too real.

I still have so much to learn about it and decide what treatments I will doing. I have been seeing a rhumatologist here and will be seeing a specialist in Houston in a few weeks to find out more about my condition and get other non steroidal treatment options. I also have been going to physical theraphy 2 times a week to help with the joint pain and have blood drawn every 3 weeks to check my levels and organ functions.

It's scary knowing so many of the meds cause other issues that you have to weigh the options seriously. not only for me but for my family.

I hope that I can always be strong about this. Even when I need help..that is the hardest struggle for me..I'm the one who wants to help others not receive it. I feel weak as a person when I have to rely on others, I know I shouldn't but I do.

All I ask is for your prayers..prayers are powerful!

Andy and I feel it was time to share to our close family and friends but ask to keep this private.

I feel so overwhelmed but encouraged,

Celia

for more on lupus:
http://www.medicinenet.com/systemic_lupus/page5.htm